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The first key to parenting


a voice recoding of the first of three lectures given in South Africa in 2016



see programme below - courses starts 2nd February 2023


This unique course offers ways of understanding how children learn, and how obstacles to their learning are introduced by behaviourism and inherited attitudes. For example, it could be that behind every behaviour and communication difficulty, lies a misconception. So, changing the way you think and feel about children’s learning, leads to happy and peaceful families and classrooms. 

 I regularly check what is out there about children's behaviour and learning. So far, although I find wonderful examples of ways to understand children, the unique insights that I have been teaching are still worth sharing. 


For example, intergenerational trauma still plays a large role in how teachers and parents perceive their children. So, to break the cycle of harm, we really need to come to terms with how the harm is done. My concern about the ways children are held back from developing capacities to live in this changing world drives me to complete my course on how children learn and heal. My experiences with parents and teachers have shown the adults can heal too.


I will be offering the new revised Learning to Love Course, starting in February 2023. The participants following earlier versions of the course said they want to carry on teaching the course when I retire, however,  we have discovered that the way I was teaching the course was dependent on my implicit knowledge. For this reason, I have reviewed every topic and exercise to present a course that can be taught by parents and teachers who attend the course three times. The progession through the topics develops from lesson 1 to 12 to show  how children learn and how they heal. The content covers Shame Awareness, Trauma Awareness, Attachment Awareness and applications of teaching and learning strategies that promote spiritual and brain development. 



"Tessabella has a knowledge and insight into the world and psyche of children (and adults!) that I have rarely found in anyone else. Her immediate grasp of situations and scenarios, her compassion and humour have helped me so much to come to a completely new level of understanding for my children and family.  I would truly recommend this course to anyone.” (Claudia)


"This parenting course has helped me make some subtle but profound changes in the way I parent. I feel more confident and I leave each session feeling recharged and ready to try new things. No matter how many books I read on the subject, this course seems to take me to another level in my parenting.” (Nisha)


"This course gives you an invaluable understanding of child development in an 'easy to digest and take home to put into practice' way. Dr Lovemore gives a perspective on child behaviour and ways to deal with/prevent difficult situations by giving you an understanding as to why it happens in the first place. I would recommend this course to anyone looking to achieve peace at home and as a result raise healthy and content children.” (Emiliana)


"The theory is very clear and as a consequence we were able to make some changes to our parenting style that have fundamentally changed the balance in our home, and our happiness as a result. We would recommend the course and Tessabella's way of teaching to all who have an open mind, open ears and a desire for making a change that can have an immediate effect, not only on the children, but on the family as a whole.” (Emma)


The programme 

1.    Mastery - four stages of learning


2.    How children learn through relationship, discovery and fear


3.   Loving Light - growing inner safety


4.    Lethargy, hatred of work and the aura of dread


5.    Growth, Brains and Thoughts

6.    Everything you do matters - the end of bad behaviour


7.    Joyfilled parenting and teaching


8.    Prepare them for life - infants, school children and teens 


9.    Right brain healing - why boys and girls are different

10.    The medicine in speaking and listening


11.    Crossing the Gap of Left to Right

12.    How we heal - body, heart and mind

© 2013 by Light and Shadow.

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